hello girls!,

i'm so sorry for the lack of blog posts. lately i was going through so much drama and things with school that i lost my inspiration to be thing again. as you know from a few posts, i really liked this guy D a lot. and  i figured he liked me. which wasn't the case because the pieces to the puzzle began coming together and i realized he was just using me. here i was thinking he was the prefect guy who might actually show me that love is real, that love does exist. wrong. he turned out to be a complete ass whole, liar, and jerk. but by the time i figured this out, i really really liked him. part of me wanted to believe all his lies where true and the other part of me just wanted to walk away, and let me tell you, letting go is harder then it looks. D put me through hell. but i've had enough of the lies and promises. i've really got to move on, so i'm going to and yes, it's going to be hard but with each day things will get a little easier.
since school is finished for the summer, i decided to go on a long vacation to stay with my aunt until i have to work at the end of june. basically being here, i wanted to accomplish a few things: try and move on from D, try and be happy again and become who i used to be, and lastly find the inspiration to try and become thin. and guess what?! i found it. i can't wait to go back home. i can't wait to start at the gym two times a day and start counting calories. i can't wait to lose 40 pounds. i can't wait to become pretty. i can't wait to have the body that every guy wants. so i figured if i have this perfect body, a body that all guys are jealous of then D might be jealous of it. i'm going to walk into where D works when i get back to school and pretend i came in to buy something and then i'll run into him and then he'll regret everything that happened between us and then he'll want me, and then i'll tell him, if you want me, come find me.
PERFECT PLAN HUH?
so girls, when i get home in the middle of june, i'm back for good.
-- J <3