Monday, September 26, 2011

so close but yet so far.

have you ever felt like you've been so close to getting someone, like it's right under your finger tips but at the same time that someone seems so far away, like your never going to be together.
that's exactly how d and i are right now. d recently broke up with is girlfriend in the summer, which should be a good thing right? i guess it is, i mean i'm not feeling guilty every time he comes over and we do things. the only problem is it''s me and d. our relationship is just this huge mess of being fuck buddies with feelings half the time basically. then, when something pisses us off we stop talking to each other for weeks and the cycle keeps repeating. all i want is to move pass this stupid stage. we both like each other. sure i'm afraid to let him in again but i seriously think he might save me. i'm broken and he's broken, i mean not as much as me but still. maybe we can save each other. he's the only person i picture being with. i know he makes me mad sometimes and nobody's perfect but i can't lose him. we are so close. i'm not going to lose him this time i can't. i'm going to do everything i can to be with him. i'm going to fight even though it hurts. i'm going to fast. i'm going to lose weight. i'm going to be that girl that any guy would want, just to make him want me more. i'm going to do this. ---- starting today. starting right now. today's the day that's gonna chance everything for the rest of my life. i refuse to give up. and this fight is going to be worth it. :)

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